"We don't care" bathrooms: challenging gender concepts

One thing I can say about my university, it pushes limits fearlessly. As I stood at the main entrance yesterday urging people to joins me and the Diversity Club at Pride parade this Sunday June the 25th, I was told a tale of courage. It turns out, last year, some parents were against my university attending Pride because of the same-old prejudice and misunderstanding of what the entire movement stands for. As a result, very little organization was put into our participation.

This year, no fucks were given. Gilbert Baker's rainbow flag stands proud at the main lobby, as more people from other clubs at school join in, to talk to other students about making themselves present at Pride. As a fun fact, my university has declared itself officially, sexually diverse since 2012.

I was also surprised to know that, during this year's remodeling process, a couple of "we don't care " bathrooms were placed near the auditorium. The concept is: challenging gender roles. Funny enough, although they both clearly state any gender can use both, people have consciously (or unconsciously) divided them. I ever only see girls use the left one and guys use the one on the right, until last night.

As I was escaping the rain from hopping off of my scooter, I rushed into the left "we don't care" to take off my cape. I did the usual, check-teeth, bloat-oil-from-face and add-perfume routine. Last step was making sure the girls were not trying to escape (code for, adjust boobs in bra). Then all of a sudden, a male representative exited out of the bathroom stall looking at me with one hand pulling my brassiere down and the other on a breast. He clearly understood he just caught me in a very intimate act, but managed to not flinch. He looked away, washed his hands and left, never looking up to me in the mirror.

I felt embarrassed, weird and exposed. But then I thought, why? Why do I feel like that was something a guy shouldn't see? He is a grown man and I am grown woman, certainly he had seen it all. I spoke to a few girls about the incident, they noticed guys are the ones that feel the most aware they are going to the bathroom with girls. A guy once said to them that he wouldn't dare take a shit or use the urinals if girls were in there. Interesting.

We may share some bathroom habits as men and women, but there are gender-specific habits we feel the opposite sex wouldn't understand or find disgusting. I can't even begin to tell you how many of my guy friends have been scarred for life by their girlfriend's dirty tampons and pads. But I guess, that is the very point of this. They shouldn't be surprised, they should be aware of what a menstrual cycle entails for their ladies.

On the other hand, the LGBT community can feel comfortable. Going to the bathroom shouldn't be a huge deal. If you feel weird about this, then what about moms with sons? Dads with daughters? Adults with disabled kids or aging parents? 

I believe in these genderless bathrooms. I believe in admitting the bathroom is a vulnerable place for all of us, but reaching a place in which we can feel comfortable with each other is very possible. Many years ago I watched a sci-fi movie called Starship Troopers which featured a shower scene with men and women. Nothing sexual, nobody looked at  each other twice, they just showered and teased one another like colleagues. If this is what the future holds, I'm hopeful.

I do have to mention the annoying gap in between the stalls needs to be taken care of. Nobody wants to see anybody squatting to aim the toilet.

**This post is dedicated to the late Gilbert Baker, the creator of the rainbow flag. He passed away march this year.**