When in doubt, think of asteroids

As a woman, as a black woman, as a sister, as a daughter, as a pet owner, as a girlfriend, as a friend and as a human being there are many things that I think will end me. However, no matter how big I think my problem is, just thinking about the fact that an asteroid can hit Earth at any time without notice is motivation enough to think that my problem is never as big as I think it is.

I’m used to making a huge deal over things. For example, an opportunity presented itself to me six months ago. I stressed so much, I couldn’t stop thinking about it every day, I would do research and study and prepare myself for that opportunity. And I’m not saying that was wrong but I tortured myself thinking it would be the end of the world if I didn’t get it. This was stupid and irrational. I realize that now.

The thought of asteroids also makes me want to help others. I don’t want to leave this world without putting some good out there, without helping people, without doing some charity, without teaching somebody something to better their lives.

The asteroid analogy can be used in many situations. Some years ago, I had a terrible relationship with somebody that I thought was very important to me. Whatever he did, whatever he said used to either make me or destroy me. It’s amazing how I went from caring so much to where I am now. I should’ve thought of asteroids. What if we were in the middle of a fight and suddenly the news broke that an asteroid was going to end Earth? I would’ve walked away and go to the people that I love, just like in the movies. I would probably do other things as well like steal a white Range Rover and free animals from zoos, but mostly in that moment I would think about what matters the most: my family, friends and pets. Everything else would’ve been a blur.

Asteroids have all sorts of effects on me. They make me want to buy shoes, pursue a new career, say ‘I love you’ more, open up to strangers, share what I know, kiss my little brother any chance I get, take care of my people, get more cats, clean the house, cook from friends…the list is endless.

I think this is the main reason I love disaster flicks so much. Most, see a silly film to pass the time, while I see hope, love and the better side of humanity. The one I keep coming back to is Independence Day with Will Smith. When the president is giving soldiers a pep talk as they are about to fight aliens, he says something brilliant “Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest.”

I’ve heard people say to be grateful for what you have because others have very little and, although they are right, I’m uncomfortable feeling good about myself based on somebody else’s circumstances. I prefer the asteroids.

Don’t get me wrong this is not bulletproof. There are important problems in the world that I believe the asteroid analogy cannot cover. People are starving, girls and boys are getting raped, some cannot wait for the asteroid and are committing suicide.

However, think about it this way: your problem is only as big as you make it. Your problem (most of the time) is circumstantial and temporary. Will it matter tomorrow, in a week or in a year? Remember that the people you love have the greatest capacity to cause you pain, still that does not mean they do not love you. It just means they know you too well.

You are very important. Your dreams hurt and are difficult to get. Above all: do not be afraid to fail.

****This post is dedicated to the late Anthony Bourdain.